Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Dodging A Diagnosis

I gave up.

After decades of trying to find out why I was tired all the time, I told myself that's just how I am. I didn’t understand why I had to sleep so much, I just knew I did. My friends, coworkers and even strangers would say, “I’m always tired too!” But I noticed they weren’t falling asleep at parties or having to sleep 10 hours at night and still need 2 -3 hour naps during the day. I started thinking my tired was different. But I couldn’t explain why.

I cancel last minute on plans with friends because I was too tired to join them. 

If I told my friends, “I’m sorry, I can’t make it to the get together tonight. I’m really tired.” They’d say, “Oh come on. We’re all tired from the week. It’s Friday. Come over and party!”

I would have to say I wasn’t feeling well (which was true) or I felt like I was coming down with something as that’s what I would assume was making me tired. 

What they didn’t understand is that when I said, “I’m tired” it meant I was so tired it was hard to stay upright at a party and make conversation. That trying to maintain conversations can give me headaches. There were many times I’d have to leave early because I just couldn’t stay awake any more. I could be quite the party pooper. 

As the years went on, my attacks of sleepiness occurred more often and I’d go through periods where the sleepiness was really intense for days. Though I didn’t notice this until one year when my parents came out to visit. And I spent more time sleeping than visiting with them. Their visits were the highlight of my year. The last thing I wanted to do was sleep through their visit! 

But this year I noticed I couldn’t muster the energy to get out of their hotel room. I would drag my body up and around with them as much as I could. But the intense sleepiness I was fighting through made the outings a struggle rather than a joy. 

My parents, as usual, said it was because I work so much and travel and keep myself so busy. Sounded right. Isn’t that the American way of life? I needed to slow down. So they let me sleep my way through their vacation. 

I  felt better for awhile, so I thought maybe I had ‘caught up’ on my sleep. But then shortly after my folks flew back home, it hit again! I had another several days in a row where all I could do is crawl my way to work, come home and lay down. 


I noticed these bouts would come and go. They tended to last between 2 - 5 days. Then I would feel more ‘normal’ after that. Normal to me was just being tired all day with some periods of increased drowsiness. But it was much better than the crippling sleepiness of the ‘episodes’ as I started to call them. But the fact that I would lose several days at a time because of my sleepiness, I had to face the fact: this was not normal and my sleepiness was a problem.  I needed to start looking for answers ....again.

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